I don't suggest doing this at your local mall, but if you were out of town and kind of bored....
The following letter was sent to a long time patron of a local Target store. After receiving this letter, she vowed that she would NEVER take her husband shopping with her again! ! !
12 January 2006
Re: Mr. Bill Fenton; Multiple Complaints
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite a commotion in our store.We cannot tolerate this type of behaviour and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.Three of our clerks are attending counselling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed below.
15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse is shopping:
1. 15th June: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. 2nd July: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. 7th July: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. 19th July: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares..... and watched what happened.
5. 4th August: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-by.
6. 14th September: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. 15th September: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. 23rd September: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. 4th October: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. 10th November: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. 3rd December: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12 . 6th December: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. 18th December: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. 21st December: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the foetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"(And; last, but not least!)
15. 23rd December: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
Friday, July 28, 2006
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Let this be said of me!
John Gill (as I've learned this week) was a great preacher/theologian/writer from the 1700's. Quite an inspiring epitaph! I hope it lights a fire in your life.
In this cemetery
are deposited the remains of John Gill, D.D.
are deposited the remains of John Gill, D.D.
A man unblemished in life;
An ingenuous disciple of Jesus;
A distinguished preacher of the Gospel;
and, of the Christian faith, a strenuous defender,
who embellished with mind, learning and devotion,
and ever unwearied amid the severest labours
more than fifty years,
strove with zeal perpetual and glowing,
to fulfill the precepts of the Lord,
To advance the prosperity of the church
and to seek the salvation of men;
In Christ he fell calmly asleep on the 14th of October, 1771, aged 74.
Monday, July 24, 2006
I Just Wanna Testify ....
Sorry for the delay, but it's been pretty busy around here in the last little while. There's a ton of stuff to tell you, the challenge is knowing where to begin...
The Britt Update:
Britt is in Saskatchewan getting her fill of cousins, aunties and new friends. She is having the time of her life. Apart from a bit of home-sickness while she was at camp, she did very well (with the exception of tearing some ligaments in her knee.) She's recovering well but did some time on crutches. The best part of the story is that she was well enough to spend a day at the mall with Aunt Sharon who just had hip surgery. I would have loved to see the two of them (Sharon on a scooter and Britt in a wheel chair) going through the mall.
The Vehicle Update:
We got a new vehicle for which we are truly thankful! We really appreciated the MX-6 (2 Dr. NO AC) that got us through the winter, but it really was time to do something. We opted for a Grand Caravan Sport. The AC works, it has a DVD player and Satellite Radio so all is VERY GOOD! Barb will enjoy her freedom today and was making plans last night about where she would go and what she would do today.
The Weekend Update:
We have some very kind friends who own a suite in a hotel at Sun Peaks who generously made arrangements for us to have a weekend there. To make things even better, the Kamloops Symphony was doing "Music in the Mountains" this weekend so there were concerts going for most of Saturday and Sunday. Most of them happened in the village and right in front of our hotel so Barb was very blessed. The boys and I weren't far from the ice cream store so we escaped a few times to get some ice cream and amuse ourselves in other ways.
The tempature in Kamloops this weekend was into the low 40's so getting to where the temp was only in the low 30's was very nice.
The Ministry Update:
I got a call on Friday from a friend in Victoria. She's part of a group of people who have been praying for government leaders for a long time. She shared the vision of what it is that God has called me to do and they were very excited. One of the people who was there (a pastor's wife) said that God had spoken to her in a dream the night before and told her that this groups was to take up an offering when they got together. When she heard about the ministry and what I'll be doing, she knew that the offering was for us. The total was over $600 which is a pretty cool blessing! This is a huge encouragement to me and reminds me that God's name is Jehovah-Jireh, the God who provides. We've sent out some letters and seen some response, but to have this come out of no where just reminds me that "on the mountain of the Lord it will be provided." Over the next few months I'll head out on the road on weekends to begin visiting churches, building a profile for the ministry and fundraising. I'm believing that I will see many more provision miracles as that begins to happen.
The Church Update:
I love our church and our pastor. After pastoring in the same city for 11 years, it's kind of neat to be a part of my friend's church. Pastor Andrew is really amazing. On a hot summer night, he hit the ball out of the park. We had a powerful service, marked by the presence of God and miracles (yes - miracles!). He is such a huge supporter of what we are doing and where we are going. I am so glad that God planted us in Bible Truth. This has been a wonderfully refreshing and empowering time. I am rediscovering spiritual truths and values that I had forgotten about for a long time and there is a fire burning deep inside that is fresh and exciting.
Mostly I am inspired afresh by the vision that God has a plan for our nation that goes beyond what we see in the natural. We might not have "In God We Trust" on our money, but we do have "His Dominion shall be from sea to sea" written on the Peace Tower" Jesus is Lord over every part of our nation and His kingdom is coming!!
The Britt Update:
Britt is in Saskatchewan getting her fill of cousins, aunties and new friends. She is having the time of her life. Apart from a bit of home-sickness while she was at camp, she did very well (with the exception of tearing some ligaments in her knee.) She's recovering well but did some time on crutches. The best part of the story is that she was well enough to spend a day at the mall with Aunt Sharon who just had hip surgery. I would have loved to see the two of them (Sharon on a scooter and Britt in a wheel chair) going through the mall.
The Vehicle Update:
We got a new vehicle for which we are truly thankful! We really appreciated the MX-6 (2 Dr. NO AC) that got us through the winter, but it really was time to do something. We opted for a Grand Caravan Sport. The AC works, it has a DVD player and Satellite Radio so all is VERY GOOD! Barb will enjoy her freedom today and was making plans last night about where she would go and what she would do today.
The Weekend Update:
We have some very kind friends who own a suite in a hotel at Sun Peaks who generously made arrangements for us to have a weekend there. To make things even better, the Kamloops Symphony was doing "Music in the Mountains" this weekend so there were concerts going for most of Saturday and Sunday. Most of them happened in the village and right in front of our hotel so Barb was very blessed. The boys and I weren't far from the ice cream store so we escaped a few times to get some ice cream and amuse ourselves in other ways.
The tempature in Kamloops this weekend was into the low 40's so getting to where the temp was only in the low 30's was very nice.
The Ministry Update:
I got a call on Friday from a friend in Victoria. She's part of a group of people who have been praying for government leaders for a long time. She shared the vision of what it is that God has called me to do and they were very excited. One of the people who was there (a pastor's wife) said that God had spoken to her in a dream the night before and told her that this groups was to take up an offering when they got together. When she heard about the ministry and what I'll be doing, she knew that the offering was for us. The total was over $600 which is a pretty cool blessing! This is a huge encouragement to me and reminds me that God's name is Jehovah-Jireh, the God who provides. We've sent out some letters and seen some response, but to have this come out of no where just reminds me that "on the mountain of the Lord it will be provided." Over the next few months I'll head out on the road on weekends to begin visiting churches, building a profile for the ministry and fundraising. I'm believing that I will see many more provision miracles as that begins to happen.
The Church Update:
I love our church and our pastor. After pastoring in the same city for 11 years, it's kind of neat to be a part of my friend's church. Pastor Andrew is really amazing. On a hot summer night, he hit the ball out of the park. We had a powerful service, marked by the presence of God and miracles (yes - miracles!). He is such a huge supporter of what we are doing and where we are going. I am so glad that God planted us in Bible Truth. This has been a wonderfully refreshing and empowering time. I am rediscovering spiritual truths and values that I had forgotten about for a long time and there is a fire burning deep inside that is fresh and exciting.
Mostly I am inspired afresh by the vision that God has a plan for our nation that goes beyond what we see in the natural. We might not have "In God We Trust" on our money, but we do have "His Dominion shall be from sea to sea" written on the Peace Tower" Jesus is Lord over every part of our nation and His kingdom is coming!!
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
"I've Never Failed At Anything I've Done..."
People say ridiculous things. I had the radio on as I was driving to work today and heard a candidate say "You should vote for me because I've never failed at anything I've done..."
What a remarkable (if somewhat delusional) statement. I think it speaks volumes as to his self awareness. I don't think I could vote for someone who had never failed. They wouldn't know what it was like for the rest of us!
Failure is never fun, but as John Maxwell wrote, there's something to be said for "failing forward". I was able to attend EXPO 2005 in Japan last summer and visited the American Pavillion. It was dedicated to Benjiman Franklin. Benjiman Franklin couldn't say he had never failed, because he failed a lot! Like Abraham Lincoln, his failures far outnumbered his successes, but they are both celebrated as individuals who shaped their world significantly.
"It's better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all." If failure is something that you're unfamiliar with, maybe your life has become too comfortable and predictable.
Failure gives us the opportunity to learn and grow if we're willing to admit that we've failed and able to learn from our mistakes. Failing to learn from our mistakes is the biggest failure of all.
What a remarkable (if somewhat delusional) statement. I think it speaks volumes as to his self awareness. I don't think I could vote for someone who had never failed. They wouldn't know what it was like for the rest of us!
Failure is never fun, but as John Maxwell wrote, there's something to be said for "failing forward". I was able to attend EXPO 2005 in Japan last summer and visited the American Pavillion. It was dedicated to Benjiman Franklin. Benjiman Franklin couldn't say he had never failed, because he failed a lot! Like Abraham Lincoln, his failures far outnumbered his successes, but they are both celebrated as individuals who shaped their world significantly.
"It's better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all." If failure is something that you're unfamiliar with, maybe your life has become too comfortable and predictable.
Failure gives us the opportunity to learn and grow if we're willing to admit that we've failed and able to learn from our mistakes. Failing to learn from our mistakes is the biggest failure of all.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
"There's No Such Thing As Business Ethics"
While there may have been many redeeming qualities about his life, Kenneth Lay will be remembered as the convicted former Chairman of Enron who oversaw the largest deception of regulators, shareholders and employees in the history of business. He experienced a colossal ethical failure that cost him his reputation and the shareholders and employees of Enron millions of dollars. For whatever reason, he began to believe that his business ethics were separate from his personal ethics and that his decisions at work would not affect his life away from the office. Nothing could be further from the truth. Ethics are the moral boundaries that we choose to govern our lives by and our personal and professional credibility is defined by how well we hold to them.
While it’s easy to find fault with Mr. Lay and others who have failed ethically, the reality is that ethical failure is not limited to the rich and powerful. At some point in time, everyone fails ethically. We fail personal ethics tests for at least one of several reasons.
1. We do what’s most convenient.
Most of us fail personal ethics tests because we don’t think we’ll get caught. We tell ourselves “it’s just this one time” or “it’s really not who I am” and we convince ourselves that it’s okay to step outside of the normally accepted rules of doing business.
2. We do what we must to win.
We’ve come to believe that we have two choices. We can win by doing whatever it takes, even if it’s unethical or we can have ethics and lose. Many people believe that embracing ethics would limit their options, their opportunities and their very ability to succeed in business. Few people set out with the desire to be dishonest, but nobody wants to lose.
3. We rationalize our choices with relativism.
Joseph Fletcher was a professor of theology at Harvard University when he coined the term “situational ethics”. Situational ethics might sound appealing until the situation isn’t in your favour. When we begin to function personally or in business using relativism as our moral compass, things can get murky very quickly.
How do you find your way to ethical behaviour?
1. Submit yourself to an external authority.
Choose a moral standard that you will adhere to and stick to it.
The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20)
Rotary 4-way test (www.rotary.org)
The Golden Rule (www.teachingvalues.com)
2. Tell others what you do.
Make your standards public. Publicity holds us accountable to ourselves, our customers and those around us.
3. Have a high personal standard.
Don’t compromise on the truth. Don’t take short cuts. Keep your commitments and do what’s right even if it’s unpopular.
4. Have integrity.
Align your priorities with your values. Know the things that matter most in your life and live your life towards them.
5. Confess when you’ve made a mistake.
Everyone makes mistakes. Admit yours quickly and easily. People are forgiving and trusting when we confess and ask for forgiveness.
6. Stand firm when the pressure is on.
Who you are when no one is looking is who you are. Character is defined by what we do, not by what we say we do.
While it’s easy to find fault with Mr. Lay and others who have failed ethically, the reality is that ethical failure is not limited to the rich and powerful. At some point in time, everyone fails ethically. We fail personal ethics tests for at least one of several reasons.
1. We do what’s most convenient.
Most of us fail personal ethics tests because we don’t think we’ll get caught. We tell ourselves “it’s just this one time” or “it’s really not who I am” and we convince ourselves that it’s okay to step outside of the normally accepted rules of doing business.
2. We do what we must to win.
We’ve come to believe that we have two choices. We can win by doing whatever it takes, even if it’s unethical or we can have ethics and lose. Many people believe that embracing ethics would limit their options, their opportunities and their very ability to succeed in business. Few people set out with the desire to be dishonest, but nobody wants to lose.
3. We rationalize our choices with relativism.
Joseph Fletcher was a professor of theology at Harvard University when he coined the term “situational ethics”. Situational ethics might sound appealing until the situation isn’t in your favour. When we begin to function personally or in business using relativism as our moral compass, things can get murky very quickly.
How do you find your way to ethical behaviour?
1. Submit yourself to an external authority.
Choose a moral standard that you will adhere to and stick to it.
The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20)
Rotary 4-way test (www.rotary.org)
The Golden Rule (www.teachingvalues.com)
2. Tell others what you do.
Make your standards public. Publicity holds us accountable to ourselves, our customers and those around us.
3. Have a high personal standard.
Don’t compromise on the truth. Don’t take short cuts. Keep your commitments and do what’s right even if it’s unpopular.
4. Have integrity.
Align your priorities with your values. Know the things that matter most in your life and live your life towards them.
5. Confess when you’ve made a mistake.
Everyone makes mistakes. Admit yours quickly and easily. People are forgiving and trusting when we confess and ask for forgiveness.
6. Stand firm when the pressure is on.
Who you are when no one is looking is who you are. Character is defined by what we do, not by what we say we do.
Celebrating The Vision
I love the look that comes when people "get it" when I tell them about where God is taking me. It energizes me, inspires me and lifts me out of the doldrums that happen when I speak with people who don't "get it". It's interesting to see how it works. There's an "aha" look that comes when they see what God has put in my heart and how the fruit of that can literally change our nation.
My pastor says it best. We've spent millions of dollars working in the back alleys of our cities and towns at the expense of ministering to the leaders of our nation. I celebrate those who support the poor, the widow and the orphan and give to a ministry that does that in my city. I honour those who work in that world because it's a place that I know is difficult and challenging.
At the same time our leaders need a ministry directed to their needs and culture. Everything flows from the top down and unless our leaders are encouraged and supported to govern with righteousness and integrity, our nation cannot realize the fullness of the destiny that God has established for us. Righteousness exalts a nation and without it our future is bleak.
A friend asked me a good question today. "What exactly are you going to be doing Tim?" Here's the picture as I see it. Fundamentally it's all about building relationships so that at the right time, the right seeds can be sown that will make a difference in the big picture. Coming back to the examples of Nehemiah, Esther, Daniel, Joseph and others, presence and timing were everything. The same is true with this. By building relationships and networks, the possibilities and opportunities to influence those who shape policies and make the key decisions in our nation are endless.
My friend and I spent a lot of time talking about things today and I think he "gets" it. I hope you do too!
Have a good one!
My pastor says it best. We've spent millions of dollars working in the back alleys of our cities and towns at the expense of ministering to the leaders of our nation. I celebrate those who support the poor, the widow and the orphan and give to a ministry that does that in my city. I honour those who work in that world because it's a place that I know is difficult and challenging.
At the same time our leaders need a ministry directed to their needs and culture. Everything flows from the top down and unless our leaders are encouraged and supported to govern with righteousness and integrity, our nation cannot realize the fullness of the destiny that God has established for us. Righteousness exalts a nation and without it our future is bleak.
A friend asked me a good question today. "What exactly are you going to be doing Tim?" Here's the picture as I see it. Fundamentally it's all about building relationships so that at the right time, the right seeds can be sown that will make a difference in the big picture. Coming back to the examples of Nehemiah, Esther, Daniel, Joseph and others, presence and timing were everything. The same is true with this. By building relationships and networks, the possibilities and opportunities to influence those who shape policies and make the key decisions in our nation are endless.
My friend and I spent a lot of time talking about things today and I think he "gets" it. I hope you do too!
Have a good one!
Monday, July 10, 2006
Zack's pictures!
Here are the pictures of Zack's excellent weekend!
MVP Medal
Here comes the pitch....
The Presentation
WAY TO GO ZACK!!
My boy's gonna play in the big leagues...
The title works best if you're a Tom Cochrane fan...
Forgive me for boasting but this past weekend marks an end to Little League Season in our house and I need to applaud the success of Zack and Tyler. Zack was named MVP in his Friday game. He pitched the last 2 innings of the game (final inning is open) and did a great job. With the help of his team, he held the AAA Riverdogs to one run in the 4th and no runs in the 5th. His team was defeated, but they were playing against kids that were 2nd or 3rd year players in their division. He was on a AA Rookie team.
Zack has had a great year. This was a big stretch for him this year as everything happens a lot faster in Mosquito than it does in Tadpole, but he grew into the role and will have a great year next year as a "vetran".
Tyler finished off his Tadpole career in true Tyler fashion. He was a strong asset to his team, usually getting at least a double each time he was up to bat. I missed his last game, but he told me that he slid into home for the winning run in a come from behind victory. He didn't have to slide, he just did it because he could! Nothing says you've played the game like dirt and grass stains on your pants! He played 2nd, Shortstop, First and Catcher over the weekend and absolutely loves it. Here are few photo's from Tyler's weekend as well. Tyler is second from the left with the batting helmet on. He's waiting for his medal.
This is Tyler beside his friend Cooper. They are waiting for the MVP announcement. Two other team mates won them, but Ty and Coop both played really well and made an excellent contribution to their team
There's some talk about a parents/kids game this coming Wednesday and I'm already being trash talked... The boys may play each other some time this week as well. The pre-game banter and post-game bragging just might be worth writing about!
Check back for the pictures of Zack!
Tim
Forgive me for boasting but this past weekend marks an end to Little League Season in our house and I need to applaud the success of Zack and Tyler. Zack was named MVP in his Friday game. He pitched the last 2 innings of the game (final inning is open) and did a great job. With the help of his team, he held the AAA Riverdogs to one run in the 4th and no runs in the 5th. His team was defeated, but they were playing against kids that were 2nd or 3rd year players in their division. He was on a AA Rookie team.
Zack has had a great year. This was a big stretch for him this year as everything happens a lot faster in Mosquito than it does in Tadpole, but he grew into the role and will have a great year next year as a "vetran".
Tyler finished off his Tadpole career in true Tyler fashion. He was a strong asset to his team, usually getting at least a double each time he was up to bat. I missed his last game, but he told me that he slid into home for the winning run in a come from behind victory. He didn't have to slide, he just did it because he could! Nothing says you've played the game like dirt and grass stains on your pants! He played 2nd, Shortstop, First and Catcher over the weekend and absolutely loves it. Here are few photo's from Tyler's weekend as well. Tyler is second from the left with the batting helmet on. He's waiting for his medal.
This is Tyler beside his friend Cooper. They are waiting for the MVP announcement. Two other team mates won them, but Ty and Coop both played really well and made an excellent contribution to their team
There's some talk about a parents/kids game this coming Wednesday and I'm already being trash talked... The boys may play each other some time this week as well. The pre-game banter and post-game bragging just might be worth writing about!
Check back for the pictures of Zack!
Tim
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Enabled...
I was reading in Ezekiel the other day in ch. 36 where God says he's going to remove our hearts of stone and replace them with a heart of flesh. Now none of that is really new to me but I just "happened" to catch this phrase leaping off the page... "on the day that I cleanse you, I will also enable you to dwell in the cities."(KJV) Apart from the very obvious (but very powerful) relationship between cleansing and enabling, I couldn't help but think about the additional transformation from "country dwellers" to "city dwellers". It seems that there's a spiritual difference between city dwellers and country dwellers.
City dwellers need some things that spiritual country dwellers don't. City dwellers need favor, authority, ability and supernatural empowerment because of the environment in which they live. City dwellers are surrounded by people who require interaction, leadership and who are able to see and experience the blessing of God.
The enabling shows up in ch. 37 in the Valley of the Dry bones where Ezekiel prophesies to a graveyard and watches the bones come together to form a mighty marching army that changes it's world!
Enabling requires patience and presence. Patience because we need to slow down and wait. Presence because ours must be in God's.
Slowing down to wait...
Tim
City dwellers need some things that spiritual country dwellers don't. City dwellers need favor, authority, ability and supernatural empowerment because of the environment in which they live. City dwellers are surrounded by people who require interaction, leadership and who are able to see and experience the blessing of God.
The enabling shows up in ch. 37 in the Valley of the Dry bones where Ezekiel prophesies to a graveyard and watches the bones come together to form a mighty marching army that changes it's world!
Enabling requires patience and presence. Patience because we need to slow down and wait. Presence because ours must be in God's.
Slowing down to wait...
Tim
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Our first donation
I got some great news last night. We've received our first donation towards the ministry. There are other commitments we've received, but this is the first actual cheque! It's pretty exciting. We're waiting for some other things to happen over the next few weeks, including our first church coming on board, but all in all we're in a good place!
If you received a fundraising letter and are bit confused about the monthly giving option, here's what 's going on. We are in the process of setting up an auto debit option, but we're not quite there yet. It may take us a little while to get everything fully functional so in the meantime, the easiest thing to do might be to send a series of post-dated cheques. As soon as we've got the auto debit option functional, we'll let you know and switch you over if that's what you'd like us to do.
Gotta go!
Tim
If you received a fundraising letter and are bit confused about the monthly giving option, here's what 's going on. We are in the process of setting up an auto debit option, but we're not quite there yet. It may take us a little while to get everything fully functional so in the meantime, the easiest thing to do might be to send a series of post-dated cheques. As soon as we've got the auto debit option functional, we'll let you know and switch you over if that's what you'd like us to do.
Gotta go!
Tim
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